Let's talk about something interesting today. How many times have you heard this statement? “You're not man enough” or “Grow up” or “Stop acting like a little boy” or “You're too immature to handle me” But my favorite of all time is this one “I'm looking for a real man, not a boy”
What am I referring to here? Do these statements sound familiar to you in your dating experience? There's a term called shaming, and in this article, I'm going to be very specific about exactly what I mean by "shaming" in the dating market.
In my perspective, shaming is disapproval of your behavior simply because you are not acting in the way that someone would want you to act so that they get what they want from you without having to say it.
So, in the dating market, shaming really is a tool that unhappy, miserable women use to get men to feel a certain emotion, and therefore act in alignment with how they want them to act so that they get the outcome they desire.
You can see how manipulative that is. Not only does it guarantee a negative outcome, but it's not the most mature way to go about things. You would think the very women who do this would see the irony in that, but they don't.
They are quick to call you all sorts of names and say you're acting childish and immature but, their behavior is exactly that, immature. They want you to feel ashamed for being who you are, stop being that, and be what they need you to be.
I would like to tell you that you have no apology to make for being a man, and as long as you're not violating anyone's boundaries and you're being respectful, you can be whoever you want to be, on your own terms and you don't have to listen to this shaming tactics.
Most women will try to shame you for living your life on your own terms specifically when you date non-monogamously so that you take your time to vet properly. They probably cannot deal with the fact that either they have misused their prime years, and they now feel anxious about the future when they can't seem to get the outcomes they want, or they're simply too afraid to admit they're not your first pick.
Another reason you're shamed is that you are doing something that gives you joy in your life and they don't like that they are unhappy with their own lives, but they don't want to investigate why so they can make the necessary changes. It's easier for them to just project.
There may be other reasons for this behavior, but the most common reason is it's just a way to try and deflect away from accountability.
So, gentlemen, be aware the next time you hear a woman calling you a boy or a child? Don't be quick to react, understand where it is coming from.
She is just unhappy that you're doing something meaningful for yourself but she doesn't know how to deal with it because she is unhappy with her own life.
You don't have to respond at all. Simply do what you're doing. Be unapologetic in expressing yourself and let her deal with her own triggers.
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