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Writer's picturekiariemk

It's Not Her, It's You!

I want to talk about a concept called the shit test, you may have heard this term thrown around in dating circles and probably you wonder what it means, it simply means a woman's natural instinct to check for a man's frame and level of confidence.


It's a biological impulse to check whether you are the best possible mate for her, and she does this both consciously and unconsciously through a series of behaviors that are meant to trigger a reaction in you that tells her what kind of a man she's dealing with.


Shit tests can cause a lot of confusion and frustration in your dating life if you don't understand what they mean and what they are for.

The more you understand female psychology and behavior the more you start to accept shit tests for what they are, you can use female shit tests for your own personal growth and self-development.


Instead of getting frustrated and reacting negatively every time a woman throws a shit test your way, you could reframe her behavior and see it as an opportunity for you to see what your biggest achilles heel is in regards to your confidence.


In my younger years, I also fell into the trap of thinking that women just like annoying men for no good reason and that's their behavior. As I began to work on myself, I slowly started to understand how to identify these tests, I stopped taking women's poor behavior personally.


Anytime you're dealing with a girl you like and immediately you say something she seems to interject or make snarky comments or tease you a little bit, she wants to see if you're strong enough to hold your position and not be fazed by her behavior.


Another way you can use shit tests for your own self-development is to acknowledge the feelings and emotions that come up in you when a girl is not complying with your requests or says things that trigger your insecurities.


When you feel the rage rising up this is the opportunity to look at that emotion and acknowledge that it's a weak point that requires your attention.

Through her, you got to look in the mirror and see where you need to improve, this obviously saves you a lot of time and money having to go to therapy.


I am not in any way saying or suggesting that you should just allow a woman to disrespect you without holding her accountable all I'm saying is that regardless of what she does or says your reaction to it is within your control and frame.


So, if a girl likes you and she seems to trigger you, this is a good thing, it means that she feels attracted to you but she wants to make sure that you're the real deal therefore don't blow it up!

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