Gentlemen let's be honest for a second here, how many times have you prioritized other people above yourself? How many times have you allowed other people's needs to take precedence over your own needs? In Particular, how many times in your dating life have you placed your needs and wants last?
If you have answered yes to all these questions then we need to talk, we need to have an honest conversation about why you have this pattern of behavior, and why you seem to believe that if you prioritize a woman's needs above yours somehow that will translate into her liking you more.
I am guilty of this myself, so I am writing this article from personal experience, I did not know how to prioritize my own needs, I did not know how to vocalize them or how to get them met healthily, so I had some very manipulative tendencies that always ended up pushing the people who would be willing to meet my needs away.
I want to be clear that this article is not meant to attack you for doing this, rather, I am writing this from a sympathetic place. I understand that you just want to get your way, I understand that you just want to feel valued and that you just want to be heard.
However, I would like to tell you directly, that the way to do that is not through manipulating people, particularly women, into meeting your needs.
I will share with you a revelation or rather insight that came to me as I was introspecting.
What I discovered is that I seemed to care more about a woman's needs above mine, because I was afraid of saying no to her, and the reason I was afraid to do that was I was not comfortable with the anxiety I imagined I would feel if she was not pleased with me saying no to her.
I was the problem, I did not dare to face the discomfort I would feel for disappointing her, therefore, I projected my fear onto her and made her the focal point of my comfort, by doing so I made it my mission to say yes to her all the time and ensure that she is happy.
My mind was convinced that when she was happy, then I would be happy.
This is a failing strategy because, when a woman realizes that you seem to have put her on a pedestal, she loses respect and attraction for you, and eventually, she's going to leave you.
If you keep this behavior up long enough, it becomes a predictable pattern that every woman you meet notices, eventually, you're going to be sending the wrong message to women that they matter more to you than you matter to yourself.
In short, what I am saying is that, understand that it is not your job to make a woman happy, even though you have an opportunity to make her feel safe and special, but that does not mean that she takes priority over your life, needs and wants.
You should not put yourself in a position where your internal state of being is dependent on whether a woman is upset or happy, The more you face your fears and triggers, the more you're able to own those feelings and handle your anxiety without having to project outwards.
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