You have met an attractive woman, she checks most of all the boxes on your list, if not all, at least on a physical level. You have spent a decent amount of time with her on dates, just hanging out and doing fun things together.
But then, out of nowhere her behavior starts changing, as you begin to build rapport with her, and establish comfort, without notice she starts being irrational, seems to get upset at small things.
She might even sound like she could be accusing you of certain things like not calling her enough, or even lying about your intentions, even though in your objective evaluation of things you know you have done nothing wrong, nevertheless her sudden behavior shift baffles you.
You start questioning yourself and whether you might be doing something wrong, the problem solver in you gets to work trying to fix a problem, but the more you try to be nice to her, politely seeking answers or apologizing the more she seems unreasonable.
Finally, you throw in the towel and get on the defensive, you start explaining yourself to her about all the things you have done, how you have tried to be the best gentleman you could be but all she has done is pour cold water on your efforts and sounds ungrateful.
You get infuriated and probably even lose your cool and start name-calling her, in the end, she says she wasn't even all that into you, and your behavior has proven to her you were not the best choice for her, and that is the final straw, you separate on very hostile terms.
What just happened? you do the same thing with 2 or 3 other women, the same pattern of behavior, different circumstances but the same outcomes. You have just failed the most important test a woman will throw at you and is desperately hoping you will pass.
If this has happened to you, as it did in my younger years, then you have been shit tested, and failed. In the dating world, a shit test is a set of behaviors a woman displays meant to trigger a certain reaction from you, which helps her determine who you are without asking.
When a woman really likes you, her biological imperative is to test whether you're the best candidate to ensure her survival, she unconsciously puts you through 'hell' to see if you can handle yourself and maintain your cool.
If you overreact, you prove to her you could be faking it, and therefore not to be trusted. If you laugh off her silly outbursts, call her out in a calm but authoritative tone, ignore her or challenge her tests, then you pass, and she calms down, but tests again later on.
Understand that a woman would not bother doing all these things if she did not find you attractive, or was absolutely sure you're a credible potential partner because her attraction is very high. If she is not attracted to you she will deal with you in an indifferent manner, she will not seem bothered by anything you do.
So, if you find yourself in situations where the girl you are dating starts displaying irrationality, stop to think you could be on her radar as a potential mate, you are being vetted, so that's a good thing, ignore your mind telling you she hates you, and pass.
Realize that women do not make dating decisions the way you do, you may decide to be with a woman and you do not need to second guess yourself so much about your decision, but she is not wired that way, she needs to feel safe with you, so she will test you.
Accept these tests as a positive sign that she likes you, and you can rest your mind asking questions about her feelings for you. However, you should always have boundaries in place to enforce if the tests get disrespectful or they never seem to end no matter how much you pass.
Too much testing is a sign of trust issues on the woman's part, and in that case, you might need to consider another candidate, but if its silly little obstacles being thrown at you now and then, in the beginning, then pat yourself on the back, you have been drafted to play!
Reclaim your masculinity and be the man that passes these tests with flying colors. Become unmoved to the point it feels futile for her to test you because you prove yourself worthy, while other men she is considering to date do not display your confidence and emotional self-control.
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